What is love?

I was thinking about love, marriage and family - what is love? It comes in many different flavors, but by far the type that impacts individuals the most is romantic love. The love of a parent for a child, love of a person for a pet, a sibling, a parent is very different. These types of love lack the heady pasasion that is the hallmark of romantic love. The intense attraction, the chemical reaction that motivates sexual culmination of the relationship, can become a primary force in a person's life. Is this love? Passion does not equal love in my opinion. Passion is intrinsically short-lived. It is a drug. Love in relationships has to be based on something more than passion. Much much more.

Why does our society crave ideality in relationships? i.e., why do we need to convince ourselves that we marry for love? It is love when two single people go through the attraction - marriage cycle. Yet if this happens to a married person, it is heinous. We become judgemental (I have, I must admit). Yet is the mechanism in the two scenarios different? I think not.

When you marry someone, you are committing to keeping your body chemistry on a tight leash. How many crushes we have before we get married. Does maturity cure us of this tendency to be attracted to someone? Apparently not, going by how prevalent extramarital affairs are. Yet, extramarital affairs are devastating, especially with children involved. Most people are aware of the consequenses, yet cannot manage their attraction. Is this strictly chemistry? Is passionnate love like addiction to alcohol? Do we "fall in love" over and over to experience the kick? Why else would people stake everything for something they know will wreck many lives?

How do we learn to love? Emotional intimacy, no sectets, finding other outlets for passion such as intense hobbies, and some passion! Will this overpower body chemistry?